Forgiveness, Part Two

How swiftly the "opportunity" to forgive came knocking at the door to my heart after I wrote the previous post! I would like to say that I ran to my "offender" with open arms and an open heart. I did forgive, but I thought of so many things I wanted to say about how wrong that person was, and why I just didn't want to deal with the whole situation anymore.

The offense came at me by of one of my children. This is far from the first time my (adult) child has "blown it". He tends to have a knee-jerk reaction to life, and he does get that from his mother, which makes it all the less attractive to see in action. My child has come to me each and every time over the years and has sincerely apologized for the same mistake over and over again.

Just as I wrote the last post with sincerity and the urgency to get the message out that we should forgive as we have been forgiven, I was doused with a cold bucket of reality within a day or two of writing my first forgiveness message to anyone who would listen. I resisted telling my son that all was forgiven. Looming in the back of my mind was, "How many times has this happened, and how many more times will he come back to me in sorrow for the damage that was done?" In essence, I was wondering just how much more of this I could really take.

I received texts from him, expressing his remorse. I received a contrite voice message on my cell phone. My fingers began texting back - lashing out, telling him I was finished with him. Before I could send my angry responses, a still, small voice (you know the one) urged me to "practice what I preached". Sometimes it is so much harder to forgive those closest to us. It's as though we don't care that they see our ugly side, because we don't put on any "airs" for family, as a rule.

So I texted, and erased. Texted more unforgiving messages, and erased. I prayed and asked God to forgive me for the struggle I was having in forgiving my own son - especially after I challenged others to actively show love and forgiveness just hours before! Something changed in me as I prayed for the Lord's forgiveness. I felt the Father once again reach down to my bitter heart and heal it, even as He forgave me! The Father showed me, by His own example, what I needed to do.

I contacted my son, and said, "I love you and I forgive you". Plain and simple. The peace in my heart was immense, and he came back to a place of restoration with peace in his heart, as well.

The forgiveness was complete, and expressed in a way he could grasp and accept. It was just the way Gram had spoken to me about earlier in the week. Later, as we talked, I did have to tell him that things would need to change, and I am here to help him grow and learn how to respond in a positive way to the situations that cause him to stumble. If, and when, he stumbles again, I will be there to take him back in love. I just pray that there will not be such a battle of my own stubborn will against what I know to be true and right!

Little did I know what the topic would be of "Forgiveness, Part Two", as I was happily typing out my thoughts on "Part One". Now if anyone knows the antidote for a Scottish/Sicilian temper, my son and I could sure use the recipe!